Online bullying – a new and ugly sport for liberal commenters

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http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/oct/18/online-bullying-ugly-sport-liberal-commenters

…The 2008 wedding of Mr. and Ms. Marovich in San Pablo, Calif., details of which were later posted to Offbeatbride.com, was not the first to contain references to zombies. But it highlighted something of a trend among a certain subset of couples who are looking outside (sometimes way outside) accepted custom.

Ms. Marovich, 35, said she received several e-mails from people who wanted to copy her vows, and the Offbeatbride site has since featured dozens of zombie-themed weddings. So many that the site’s founder and publisher, Ariel Meadow Stallings, said she recently cut back on them, for fear of overexposure.

“It’s being used in ceremonies in ways that aren’t just gimmicky,” she said. “It’s actually kind of a powerful cultural metaphor that people are tapping into.”

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Over at the wedding site Offbeatbride.com, the publisher, Ariel M. Stallings, said the number of visitors to her Simple Wedding archive has grown since the Zuckerberg-Chan event … “The backyard is the new ballroom,” said Amy Kaneko, an events planner in San Francisco.

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From Let Them Eat Cinnamon Buns:

Ariel Meadow Stallings, the founder and publisher of Offbeat Bride, a wedding blog, said, “It’s not an anti-cake movement, it’s more like: If you’re going to spend a fortune to feed your guests at your wedding, you might as well feed them something you’re going to really enjoy, and that they’re going to really enjoy.”

She has featured ceremonies in which candied apples, churros and even schlopp, a Dr. Seuss-inspired parfait, take the place of the cake. Ms. Stallings said the couples’ challenge is making less formal substitutions look special.

Ms. Stallings added, “Candy buffets can be really colorful, and really playful, and have a real sense of fun.”

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Anyway, for a look at the whole “proposing to your boyfriend” phenomenon (and some revealing truths about how it worked out for me), you can read the article.

(Oh and PS: and we’ve got lots more proposal stories.)

One of Vera Wang's designs for David's Bridal

After checking out the new bridal gown line from Urban Outfitters called Bhldn, Ariel Meadow Stallings, who created the Offbeat Bride Bride website, found something to like. This is someone who wore a custom blue corset over a green skirt and a multicolored ribbon veil at her nuptials.

“In the Bhldn line, you’ll notice a lack of structured taffeta and a welcome absence of the ubiquitous strapless white ball gown,” she said.

“And I love that Vera Wang’s designs are more accessible to brides who are into her vision. For years, budget-minded brides have fallen in love with Vera Wang gowns and have had them replicated by dressmaking shops in China, so this is a smart business move for her…”

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“I worked so much overtime trying to talk about how the rave scene wasn’t all about drugs,” says Ariel Meadow Stallings, who published and edited the rave zine Lotus in Seattle during the late ’90s. “It was very noble of me, and I still do believe it wasn’t all about drugs. But it is a drug culture. Even if you’re not on drugs, the culture of the party is determined by the fact that there are people there who are.”

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Ariel Meadow Stallings, 35, who runs a blog called offbeatmama.com, has observed that gender-neutral parenting has become a hot topic of discussion in the parenting community.

Stallings, who has a 17-month-old boy named Octavian Fetz Stallings, has strong feelings against “handing down an identity” to children, in her case shaped partially by the fact that her mother and mother-in-law are both in same-sex relationships. Determined to give her son a “gender-neutral start-off,” Stallings keeps her distance from trucks, balls and blues.

“So many assumptions about gender roles are just entrenched in our culture,” said Stallings. “Being gender-neutral encourages people to pause and think about their perceptions.”

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After checking out the new bridal gown line from Urban Outfitters called Bhldn, Ariel Meadow Stallings, who created the Offbeat Bride website, found something to like. This is someone who wore a custom blue corset over a green skirt and a multicolored ribbon veil at her nuptials.

“In the Bhldn (for “beholden”) line, you’ll notice a lack of structured taffeta and a welcome absence of the ubiquitous strapless white ball gown,” she said. “They’ve also got several tea-length dresses, a retro look that’s super-popular with the nontraditional right now.”

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Your wedding planning strategy — as with most things — can either be helped or hindered by your use of social media.

“While there are great reasons for using social media to plan your wedding (convenient! fun! easy!), since social media is so often used for marketing, it can be difficult to find the line between using the tools to effectively organize your wedding and treating your wedding like another Twitter hashtag publicity campaign,” explains Ariel Stallings, the author of popular wedding blog Offbeat Bride.

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